In early May, one of my favorite people in the world passed away. My Aunt Barb has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember and I will always miss her.
My Aunt Barb came to live with my family when I was about 4 years old. She was glamorous and fun and I loved her so much!
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| Celebrating St. Patrick's Day with Aunt Barb |
I remember dancing in her room to her record albums and singing along into hairbrush microphones. I remember car rides where we spent the entire time trying to get Devin to call her Aunt Barb instead of Dorty.
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| Aunt Barb with my brother Devin |
I remember one afternoon dancing in the rain and another where we looked for shapes in the fire in our fireplace. She loved the movie Gone with the Wind and because she liked it so much, so did I. When she left to move to Connecticut, I was about 6 1/2 and I was devastated. I remember watching her drive away in the snow. How I hated Norm, the man who took her away from me! However, all was forgotten when I got to be a flower girl in their wedding a few years later. I wore a gorgeous pink dress that Aunt Barb made for me. I felt so incredibly special! She had a way of always making me feel that way.
She came back to Cincinnati a few years later and brought me a new baby cousin to play with! I didn't get to see her quite as often, but she made an effort to reconnect. She "hired" me to help babysit Marie and invited us over to play in the pool in her condo complex. She and my Uncle Norm decided to build a house and I remember her arranging for us to go to Kings Island with their builder's son, who was 18 and gorgeous (or so I thought!) I remember how much she loved their new house, with big deep whirlpool tubs, sun room, sewing room and the mirror hung on the wall in the living room at just at the right height so that Marie could see herself. I used that same idea when I had my girls. It provided hours of entertainment! We swam in their pond during the summers and ate BBQ on their deck.
We spent lots of family reunions together and Uncle Norm and Aunt Barb even took us on a few special vacations. Although I didn't have much interest in fishing (my Uncle's passion), I remember how gorgeous the lake was at night, drifting peacefully in the light of a huge full moon. I remember seeing the movie E.T. for the first time, sitting next to Aunt Barb as she crunched through a bag of celery and carrots. She even laughed at inappropriate moments! It was sooooo embarrassing to my 11 year old self but her laugh was so loud and infectious that I couldn't stay mad for long!
When I graduated from high school, she and Uncle Norm gave me a paperback science fiction novel with a $100 bill as a book mark! It was more money than I'd ever seen before. When I graduated from college, they gave me a car.
As I got older, I spent less time with Aunt Barb but we still saw each other around the holidays and for birthday celebrations. When Matt and I got married, our ceremony was in a tiny chapel that only held enough room for immediate family. There was no question in my mind that she fit into that category. She came to the hospital to visit after the births of my children and attended their baptisms.
7 years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After nursing my uncle through all of the stages of brain cancer, she must have been terrified. However, she always faced and fought it with optimism and hope.
Recently, I knew that things were getting close to the end for her. Her voice on the phone was weaker and weaker and she had less and less to say. I selfishly hoped that she'd hold on until I was home for the summer, but although I was surprised, I wasn't shocked to learn of her death. It was incredibly hard to be so far away at such a time. I was able to go back for her memorial service and I'm so grateful that I could. My friends here have been very supportive, listening over coffee, offering support, helping with the kids while I was traveling and scheduling day trips as distractions. None of them knew her though and none of them share her story.
From her I learned about laughter, love and hope. In her 7 year fight against breast cancer, I learned what quiet courage is: the ability to keep going day after day, despite pain, exhaustion and disease; to never give up the ability to laugh and to hope; to always see the silver lining in the darkest clouds.
Unfortunately, most of the pictures I have of her are in Cincinnati. But here are a few from the last few years.
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| Holding Katie as an infant - Fall 2005 |
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| At Marie's wedding - September 2009 |
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| Snuggling with Marie - March 2007 |
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| Celebrating her birthday at Maggiano's - May 2009 |
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| At a family reunion (in the red shirt)- August 2005 |
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| Reading to Laura and Katie - Fall 2007 |
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| Celebrating my dad's birthday in 2008 |
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| At Marie's bridal shower - July 2009 |
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| Another family dinner - Christmas 2005 |
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| Christmas 2006- with Marie |
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| Thanksgiving 2006 |
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| Winter 2007 |
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| Celebrating the Christmas 2007 season at Scotti's restaurant |
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| Snuggling Katie - August 2008 |
